Walking in Love.

I'm entering a new season in my life. I can feel it. God has been speaking to me so loudly and so clearly lately. It's amazing hearing His voice. The more I hear it, the more I want to hear it. So often life gets so chaotic that I'm not still long enough to hear Him speak to me. It's very selfish on my part, I admit.

Lately I realize how much about myself that I want to change. Well, let me rephrase that: lately I realize how much about myself that I want GOD to change. When I begin making a mental note of it all, I feel so overwhelmed. It's a lot like entering a filthy house where the dishes are piled high in the sink, there are mounds of laundry to be washed, everything in sight is covered in dust, and there's an odor in the air that makes you wish you were carrying around a bottle of Febreeze! Imagine walking into a home like that, knowing that it's all of your own making, and that it has to be cleaned up. By you. Oh and there's no cleaning crew to hire- it's just yourself and some written instructions to guide you through it. That's what I feel like when it comes to my mind and my heart. I need a good cleaning. So where do I start? I guess coming to terms with the fact that I indeed need to do some work is the first step, but what next?

I've been easily agitated recently. Part of this is due to not getting enough sleep (again, my fault) and the other part is just plain lack of patience. I see that I haven't been taking the necessary steps in order to get a good grip on proper patience. This is something absolutely vital with children, therefore I MUST get it in check. Another thing I've struggled with in recent weeks is allowing myself to get caught up in fleeting, petty situations that do not matter (mostly online). And people are noticing. And that's not only embarrassing, but it's a bad testament to my faith in Jesus Christ. I was reading about walking in love yesterday morning and it put me to shame...

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins." Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4:8-9

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3


Why oh why is it so hard to love easily? I allow so many emotions to flood over me well before I realize that if I'll just love someone and let it go, the situation will take care of itself. And God will be glorified. I'm feeling God's urging to step things up and get into the habit of taking better care of myself both physically and spiritually (the mind and emotions will then follow). And I choose to obey.


Jesus, keep knocking down these walls inside of me and melting what's gone cold. Please help me to see that it's all one step at a time, under Your guidance, and that as long as my eyes stay fixed on You, everything will fall into place. There is no one and nothing greater than You, Abba. I love You and I praise You.