Well folks, it's been a long and painful adoption road, but it's not over yet.
After being denied permission to adopt Lene, and with Peru closing adoptions from Americans (for how long, we do not know), we knew that we needed to reevaluate our adoption process. Not only were we denied, but many other American families were also denied the ability to adopt children right around the same time as we were. There is a lot of controversy happening over an American family who has been accused of abusing two of their three adopted Peruvian children (quick FYI: the family has not yet been proven guilty/innocent). The news of this blew up all over Peru and made major headlines everywhere. It was huge. We realize this indefinitely played a large part in adoptions being halted as well as so many families who were already in process receiving denials. Unfortunately, the timing was the worst that it could have been for us.
Given all of this information, Robby and I stepped back and talked and prayed through what to do next. We knew that we still felt called to adopt a child or children, but we didn’t know where from. We didn’t initially feel pulled in any certain direction, but we knew that we had to make a decision within a small time frame per our agency’s request. We ended up asking to switch to another country and were approved, but it just so happens that literally within days of our approval, that country changed some guidelines/requirements that suddenly rendered us unqualified. So, back to square one yet again! At this point, we felt completely lost and had no sense of direction. We asked God to point us where we were supposed to go and we waited. This time, rather than simply making a choice due to pressure, within a few days I received a Word from the Lord that was so direct, it was undeniable. I also had it confirmed by two separate individuals whom I feel are respectable, godly influences. So where are we adopting from?
Our sights are now set on Colombia.
Colombia has a lot of the same adoption requirements as Peru, however the fluidity and predictability of the program is far more ideal. In many instances where Peru has a requirement, they also expect it to be done in the most lengthy, time-consuming way possible. Colombia does not. For example: Peru required us to have physicals done, but that included lab work (where all of the results had to be printed out in the most descriptive way possible) and x-rays of the lungs for every member of our family, regardless of age. Colombia requires that only Robby and I have physicals done, with a simple “negative” or “positive” to a few blood tests. Peru required that me, Robby, Ireland, Jasper, and Amos all receive a thorough psychological examination done with a huge detailed report written by our psychologist. Colombia requires that only Robby and I go in for an interview with our psychologist and receive a much simpler report for our dossier. This is the type of difference we are seeing between the two countries. It’s a relief to know that international adoption alone is enough of a sacrifice and that we are now with a country that doesn’t expect families to jump through fiery hoops before they even stand a chance of bringing a child home.
Now that we have been welcomed into the Colombian program with our agency, we can officially begin to look at the files of waiting children. One thing I adore about Colombia’s adoption process is that as soon as you’re underway with the first steps, you can request the files of children who are in the system and if you feel that you want to pursue one (or a sibling group) of them, you can immediately send in a “letter of intent” (aka LOI) asking to be pre-approved to adopt that child/children. I am told that the majority of the time this type of matching is a success. Once pre-approved, you then work toward getting your home study done, steps completed with immigration, and dossier (a folder of the details of your life, family, finances, etc) sent to Colombia. This way you know from the beginning what child you are pursuing and that once all of the steps are complete, they (in all likelihood) will be the child/children who will be joining your family. In our process with Peru, we weren’t allowed to request to adopt Lene until close to the end. Needless to say, we really like this method.
Late on Friday afternoon we requested the files of five waiting children from our agency. I quickly received a very brief summary on each of them, but will have to wait until next week to receive their full files. Robby and I will be going through the life and history of these children together and praying for discernment on who, if any, is to join our family. If we feel that none of them fit, we can then release the files back to our agency and request the files of other children. At this time, what we feel our hearts are being directed toward in terms of age, special needs, etc. is vastly different from Lene’s situation. We trust that the Lord will show us what to do.
Many have asked how our current pregnancy and soon-to-be-born baby will affect our adoption process. Normally, Colombia wants a family who has just given birth to wait one year before beginning to pursue an adoption, however they do grant exceptions in cases where they feel that it is in the best interest of the adoptive child to go ahead and join the family, rather than wait out that requested year’s time. Without going into too much detail right now in regards to what we are looking for in a child, it is very likely that we could be granted an exception and we wouldn’t be required to wait as long or at all before moving forward. There’s no real way of knowing, but our agency feels that it is likely that we could be plugging along in process soon after this child in my womb has made its world debut. We shall see!
As far as finances go, what we have already paid in adoption agency fees (about $6000) and in our initial home study agency fees ($7100 out of $8000) is not lost. What we have paid in services during our last process (aka translations, medical physicals that have now expired, overnighting documents, hiring an attorney for special work on our appeal, etc.) obviously cannot be reimbursed. Also, we will likely only be able to keep about $5000 of the original $18,000 in grant money we were previously approved for. Why? This is because we were approved to receive those particular grants for either Lene, specifically, or for a child that had her exact type of special needs. Out of pocket we estimate that we will be required to pay somewhere between $10,000 - $20,000. I’m trying not to stress out over this and give it to God. Easier said than done, of course. Somehow, though, we know that the money will come so that we can finally bring this journey to a close.
From the bottom on our hearts, we thank each of you who have prayed for us, for Lene, and have checked in to make sure we are doing okay. We love you and we thank you for traveling down this very long, very complicated road alongside us. Having your support means so much.
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