This storm will not destroy us.

After all of the letters were submitted to DGA (letters from our adoption agency, Robby and I, our contact in Latin America, and our home study agency) in order to appeal their decision to turn us down for the adoption of Lene, they came back late last week and demanded another letter from a lawyer. Why? I don't know. Honestly, there seems to be zero reason for 80% of what DGA insists of us; it almost seems like a twisted game to them to see what other random tasks they can ask us to complete and how much longer they can stretch this out. Anyway, they gave us 48 hours to hire a lawyer to write a letter on our behalf and have it submitted to them. I'll be honest here: even our contact in Latin America (that is the middle man between DGA and our agency) was seething over this. She said the adoption authorities are "absolutely insane". Even she is completely FED UP with how our process has gone. Yet we continue to stick it out for Lene. Today I was informed that another large chunk of money will soon be due for the lawyer. In just the past month alone we've had to pay close to $1000 in extra, unexpected fees due to DGA's requests. Meanwhile, Robby and I are desperately attempting to stick to a strict new budget to pay off debt, as well as save the money to pay for speech therapy, treatment from an ENT doctor, and braces for Ireland (which was brought to our attention yesterday). Those three things really aren't compatible. BLAH.

I am going to be 100% transparent with y'all and admit that I have been having serious struggles with my faith here at the last leg of this adoption process. For the past month- and especially over the past two weeks- I have been hearing over and over and over from sources who have much experience working directly with DGA that they don't have "much hope" for our case. I keep receiving apologies, as if the final outcome has already been rendered and our case came out to a big, fat NOPE. I am told that DGA only cares about their jobs and that due to a recent event where one American family who adopted multiple Latin American children, and are being accused of abusing them, has greatly hindered our case. I am told that DGA is being even stricter than normal and that they aren't taking any "risks". I hear about how these people in charge of adoptions don't really care about these children, that they care about themselves and their own reputations. All of these words and statements and "sympathies" for our case has gotten down into my spirit and has caused a great conflict between my faith and the circumstances at hand. It has caused me to fear, to react in the flesh, to dread, to attempt to prepare myself for heartache, and to step down from my once sturdy position of simply believing what God has said. I have questioned this process so many times over the past few weeks that I finally realized I had to make a decision, regardless of my feelings: either I believe or I don't. Either I react to outside sources or I stand firm. I believe the Bible when it says without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). I believe the Bible when it says that we must believe what we ask for, without doubt, in order to receive it (James 1:6). I believe the Bible when it says that we as Christians are to live our lives not by what we can see with our physical eyes, but by what we can't see (2 Corinthians 5:7). I know that God Almighty can change the minds and hearts of every single person that is on the DGA panel; after all, this is the same God who has raised the dead, healed all manner of sickness and disease, and performed more miracles and wonders than we will ever know of or begin to fathom. If it is His will to bring Lene into our family and we are walking and living in faith, nothing can stop Him. Right now we are standing in the eye of the storm, watching the lightning strike objects all around us, feeling the heavy winds push us around, the rain fall so hard that it's blinding to our vision, and from all appearances we are in extreme danger. But I refuse to stop here, I refuse to give in and let the storm take me, I refuse to stop looking and hoping for and expecting God to force it all to cease with one sharp command. I have to believe that He is going to rescue us and the sun will return to the sky, the water will dry up, and the threats will exist no longer.


Therefore, I have chosen to believe that this entire story is God's. Everything He has asked of us we have done, including believing that He has set us on this very painful, very long, very stressful, very heartfelt journey. I also believe that He has said that Lene is our daughter and therefore I move forward in faith that when all of this comes to an end, she will come home. What else is there to do? I am doing absolutely NO ONE, including Lene, any good by sitting around expecting the worst outcome and believing that this will end in failure. There is no positive element to that at all and absolutely zero point. I can't think of a single way in which giving up hope would improve the lives of anyone or the circumstances of our adoption process. So, there you have it, I believe God and I await the outcome of this story very eagerly and with every shred of faith I can draw up from deep within my spirit.


Unfortunately, the waiting time has once again been stretched. It has been told to us that we were not included in August's consejo (the meeting where DGA- the Latin American adoption authorities- match orphaned children with families) and that in all likelihood we will be presented in September. These meetings don't happen until the very end of each month, so we won't find out the results until the first week of October (assuming everything happens as it normally does). Again, we wait.


Please keep us, sweet Lene, and our adoption process in your prayers. We thank you.