We found out yesterday that DGA (the adoption authorities) denied our request to adopt Lene. We were told that they believe we have too many children to care for already to add another one who has the type of special needs that Lene does. Apparently, our case has caused quite a stir within the DGA office because some people believe that we should have never been given permission to study Lene's file, therefore creating "false hope" that we might be a good match for her. We were also told that we are technically allowed to appeal their decision, however it was heavily suggested that unless we have a major change in our family dynamic (aka less children), their answer will remain the same.
My sweet social worker from our adoption agency called to give me the news. She was heartbroken. Before this denial, she strongly stated in a previous phone call that if we received a "no" from DGA and wanted to contest the decision, our agency would back us 100%. Today, however, she was quite downtrodden and kept using the word "impossible" when it came to the topic of DGA changing their minds. I could literally feel her "impossibles" pull my spirit down into a murky pit of hopelessness. I took note of her use of that word and how much I loathe it, but I allowed it to play on my emotions and temporarily shatter my hope. I didn't cry, I didn't stand up and say we'd fight, I just accepted it. That is also where I went all wrong.
We ARE appealing DGA's decision. I know better than to be sucked into circumstances and base my direction and hope off of what I can see with my physical eyes. I mean, where is there faith in that? How could God be pleased by it? Robby and I both know that until we have pursued every.single.available avenue to fight for this little girl, we can't throw in the towel. That would be so much like falling to the ground and waving the old white flag of surrender right before the finish line. I REFUSE. I trust God. He is the only One who can move mountains and change the minds of people in authority and spin tables around 180 degrees. My job is to obey and believe. And so that's exactly what I am going to do; I am going to keep running, keep sweating, and keep fighting until God releases me.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.
Hebrews 12:1-2
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