$7,100.00

We received some wonderful news on the adoption front yesterday. The letter of request for exception in adopting out of birth order and adjoining family safety plan that we wrote to our home study agency was approved! The director that I've been in contact with took our letter and safety plan to her committee yesterday and they said YES! Her words were:

Our committee is in full support of (name of agency) acting as home study agency for your family.  Your plans for supervision and safety of your children are impressive.

Robby and I worked hard to educate ourselves on adopting out of birth order and even harder on that elaborate letter and safety plan. It was somewhat mentally taxing!


Anyway, she followed that up with an email full of questions and important information. In this email she included all of the fees for the services we need. And then she stated that they're due up front. As in now. And that's when my "happy" bubble burst.


We now owe $7,100.00


We cannot move forward to the home study interviews until that is paid in full. Here's the break down of the fees:

• Home study application fee $250
• Home study fee $2450
• Post-placement reports (8 in total) $4400

How much do we currently have in our adoption fund? $127.00 total. That means that we need $6973 before we can move forward.

If you're wondering what post-placement reports are, let me explain. After a child is adopted internationally, their country of origin requires a certain amount of visits for a social worker to "check up" on the child and his/her family to see how everyone is doing with the transition. It just so happens that our daughter's birth country requires a lot of them: one visit every 6 months for the first 4 years that the adopted child is in their new home. Each report costs $550. Normally post-placement report fees aren't due until the actual reports themselves are due, however this agency requires that they be paid up front. As a matter of fact, the home study fees typically aren't due until after the home study is complete. So to say that this rather large number being thrust into my face immediately proceeding a victory took the wind right out of my sails is an understatement. It hurt.

But but but...

The Holy Spirit was quick to remind me that this battle is not my own, but His to fight. God called us to this- we weren't looking to adopt or expand our family at all. However, He made it very clear that this is the direction He wants us to take. And so we are; regardless of money (or lack thereof), regardless of the fact that parenting the six children already in our home can be exhausting, and regardless of what challenges we know we are going to be required to overcome.

I believe God.

As I was struggling with my emotions last night, the following scripture was brought to my mind:

Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South and Ziklag, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken captive the women and those who werethere, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way. So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep. And David’s two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite, had been taken captive. Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

1 Samuel 30:1-6

I emphasized the end of that scripture because there is so much wisdom to be gained from that single sentence. Despite all the odds... despite that the enemy had come and stolen he and his men's wives and children, despite that they'd burned down the town, and despite that he was being threatened with murder, David encouraged himself in the Lord. That means that even though some very serious tragedies had just taken place, he reminded himself that God was the answer to his problems and that with His strength, all of the odds could be overcome. He was hurt and he wept from the blow, but he didn't set up camp and live in the middle of his despair. No! He told himself the truth: that if God was for him, NO ONE would stand a chance! If you read a little further along in the chapter you'll see that David and his men did, in fact, overcome the enemy and take back what belonged to them.

I am standing on truth today. I don't have $7,100 to pay the home study fees that are looming over me. But I know Who does. There's a beautiful little Latin American girl that's been waiting for 4 years- her entire young life- for a mommy, daddy, brothers and sisters who doesn't deserve to be alone. She doesn't deserve to have to endure anymore wait to be loved and properly cared for- she's waited long enough! And I refuse to allow money to hold us back from bringing her into this family. If someone were to thrust a bill for $100,000 in my face, FINE! The numbers don't matter because it's already been paid for; I'm just waiting for its manifestation.

If my God is for me, who can be against me? The answer to that is no one and NOTHING.

PERIOD.